I was reading about what they went through when Bowen went into arrest on Tuesday and things were at their darkest. It transported me to when Benji was in the NICU before his surgery. I felt the raw emotions, I cried, I sobbed. I think most parents that have had their child in the life and death situation go through a time when they know they have lost their child. It's just so finite that it will happen. I can't speak for other parents though. I only know how I felt.
When we almost lost Benji there was a swarm of emotion of pure raw emotion. See, Benji coded two days before his surgery. The nurses had told us he was stable things were good, we should go out and get a nice dinner. We did. I wish we hadn't. While at dinner we were called with that "You need to get back to the hospital ASAP" call. We did. When we did, Benji was stable again and we were not positive as to what happened. They had tried weaning him off of the medicine that was keeping the patent ductus open for blood flow so they could see just how bad his CoArctation was. By the time we got back up to him they had him stable and the meds going, we didn't SEE the rescue efforts.
I bring this up because I know the knot in the throat and the test of faith and the scream out to God of "Not My Son!" I was shaken to the core because the only person I could trust to save my baby, was God. I knew that it didn't matter what doctor or nurse was there, that if God wasn't involved it wouldn't matter.
Matt and Sarah's faith was tested too.
"Everything I’ve watched happen in this hospital, all the pain I’ve felt, is deepening my faith, strengthening my marriage, and molding my character." (http://bowensheart.com/2010/09/17/closing-the-window/)By going through the trials, God has made us stronger. God has strengthened our marriage. God has given us the compassion to reach out to others with that similar pain.
I pray for Bowen. I pray he become a strong and righteous man. I pray his family stay strong in the Lord. After all, "If God is for us, WHO can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)